Support Load Map

Phase 2 — Lighten the Load

This is not a “productivity tool.”
This is a burnout prevention tool.

If you feel like you’re carrying everything, this will help you:

see the load clearly
stop overfunctioning
choose one thing to drop without spiraling
set one boundary you can actually keep

Date: ___________
My state right now (optional):
☐ Overwhelmed / At Capacity
☐ Angry / Resentful
☐ Trapped / Can’t Leave
☐ Can’t Calm Down / Can’t Shut Off
☐ Relationship Breaking
☐ Burnout / Can’t Keep Doing This

Step 1 — What’s the real problem?

Fill in this sentence:

“The problem is not me. The problem is __________________________.”

Examples:

“The problem is not me. The problem is I’m carrying three people’s responsibilities.”
“The problem is not me. The problem is there’s no plan — only emergencies.”
“The problem is not me. The problem is I’m the default for everything.”

The Map

Write without judging yourself. You’re not doing this “wrong.”
You’re doing what supporters do — until it breaks you.

Bucket 1 — What is truly mine

These are responsibilities that are genuinely mine to handle (for now).

What I’m carrying that is truly mine:

What I can simplify (even if it stays mine):

Bucket 2 — What I’m carrying out of fear

These are things I do because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t.

Fear sounds like:

“If I don’t do it, everything will fall apart.”
“If I don’t handle it, they’ll get mad.”
“If I stop, I’ll be seen as selfish.”

What I’m carrying out of fear:

What I’m afraid will happen if I stop:

Bucket 3 — What I’m carrying out of guilt

These are things I do because I feel responsible for someone else’s feelings, comfort, or disappointment.

Guilt sounds like:

“They’ve been through so much.”
“I should be able to handle this.”
“If I don’t do it, I’m a bad partner/daughter/parent.”

What I’m carrying out of guilt:

The guilt story I keep telling myself:

Bucket 4 — What I’m carrying because no one else will

These are tasks that shouldn’t automatically be mine — but I’m doing them because I’m the default.

What I’m carrying because no one else will:

Who else could carry part of this (even 10%)?

Step 2 — Choose ONE Load Drop (not ten)

We are not fixing your whole life today.

Pick one thing to drop, reduce, delay, delegate, or stop doing.

My ONE load drop this week is:

I am dropping/reducing: ________________________________________.

What kind of load drop is it?
☐ drop it completely
☐ reduce it by 25–50%
☐ delay it (not urgent)
☐ delegate it
☐ stop doing it “perfectly”
☐ do the minimum version only

Step 3 — Choose ONE boundary (simple, enforceable)

This boundary is not a speech.
It’s not a negotiation.
It’s a line you can hold.

Boundary I’m choosing this week:

This week, I’m not available for: ________________________________.

What I will do:

What I will not do:

Step 4 — Plan for the pushback (so you don’t fold)

Supporters fold when people react.

Plan your response now.

If they get upset, I will say:

Choose one:

“I hear you. The answer is still no.”
“I’m not able to do that anymore.”
“I can do ___, but I can’t do ___.”
“This isn’t a fight. This is a boundary.”
“I’m at capacity. I’m not discussing this further today.”

Or write your own:

“____________________________________________________________.”

Step 5 — Your Next Step (48 hours)

You’re not done until you choose a next step.

In the next 48 hours, I will:

____________________________________________________________.